Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Where I surrender my dignity once and for all; also, I am old.

Every year I adopt an American Idol contestant. I don't know why; I am far too craven to excavate my psyche to a depth that might expose the reasons for these tendencies to the open air. When I peep cautiously at myself with one eye shut I detect a connection to my situation as mother of a son, as my Idols are almost always young men who set my mommy neurons to firing, but I refuse to investigate further. It is what it is.

This year is upsetting however.

See, I adore Blake Lewis. I love his beat boxing skillz. I love his ROCKIN' wardrobe. I love that he sang Keane. That he made me like Bon Jovi even more than I already did. (Shut up.) I think he's the best thing to happen to Idol since Kelly Clarkson, and I am not even kidding.

What's not to love, right?

Sensitive:


Edgy without being too scary:



Argyle + giant tattoo = delicious postmodern dissonance:



Awesome jacket:


And he can sing and make cool electronic noises! Blake is, simply, the shit.

But he's also, like, in his 20s. Oy. Am I that old? Really? I mean, he's adorable, obviously, and if I were younger...and yet the very fact that I just wrote that confirms that I am not. Not younger. Not young. I am in fact so old that I feel MATERNAL toward MEN in their TWENTIES. Do you understand? It's horrible.

Somewhat tangentially, you know what I love even more than Blake Lewis on his own merits? Blake Lewis conflated with Ryan Seacrest:



My god. I want them to marry and adopt children and live next door to me. Is that so wrong?

5 Comments:

At 1:27 AM, Blogger The Freelance Cynic said...

Ohhh, He bugs me! Melinda (is that her name?) to win

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger Jerri said...

Old is when you are watching 'America Idol' and feeling maternal toward all of the contestants! And hey, atleast you can relate to Blake's clothing and the music that he sings. If your old, I must be Methusaleh.

 
At 1:19 PM, Blogger Sticky Keys said...

The other awesome thing about Ryan/Blake getting gay married and living next door to you? You KNOW Jacob would move in across the street, I'm just sayin'.

I often feel maternal to men much older than me and I don't even have kids!

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger Shell said...

free, you'll probably get your wish. Sigh.

jerri, I don't want to take too much credit for youthfulness. I did not, for example, know who Keane were until Blake sang one of their songs. I am grateful for having discovered them because they're great. I did know 311 though! And Bon Jovi. And Sir Mix-a-Lot. Aaaaaaaand enough on that subject.

stix, you are on to something big! Jacob could stay with me while his house was being finished, and we would have an ill-defined rental agreement and I would get him a cell phone and THEN we could go on Judge Judy and all my dreams will have come true through the magic of Blake Lewis and The Gay.

 
At 7:18 AM, Blogger Sassy Pants said...

I don't think you're nearly as old as my Mom, but she did the same thing with N'SYNC back in the day (before Britney met K'Fed and lost her marbles. But I digress.) I thought her fascination with the group was creepy until I realized that she was just so proud of what they'd accomplished and simply wanted to adopt them. We even went to NY to see Joey Fatone in Rent because we needed to support him in his endeavors. She had the same thing for Clay Aiken (I have to admit a little Claymateness myself). For her birthday, my sister got her American Idol tour tickets. I went with her (my sister refused to go. She's apparently "too cool" fo that) and we screamed like a couple of tween girls the whole time. Awesome!

 

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