Sunday, January 21, 2007

Heh. Busted?

You scored as Friedrich Nietzsche. Well you're an egotistical maniac, and you are so very iconoclastic that you probably are currently lost in a post-modern Jupiter, I mean jungle of self-definition.

Don't let it get you down though, someday, through a willful onslaught of reinterpretation of dated forms and ideas, you will strike on something that passes as remotely new, and people WILL be into it on the basis of how hip it is alone. Also, the average espresso drinker looks up to you.

Friedrich Nietzsche


Stephen Hawking


C.G. Jung


Steven Morrissey


Sigmund Freud


Dante Alighieri


O.J. Simpson


Miyamoto Musashi


Mother Teresa


Jesus Christ


Adolf Hitler


Elvis Presley


Charles Manson


Hugh Hefner


What Pseudo Historical Figure Best Suits You?
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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Meet Mr Deity!

These video clips are hysterical.

Sex and the Single Minded

Scary stuff.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Yellow snow is the LEAST of my problems

In fact, it's not on my list of problems at all, because my little diva bitch dog won't go in the snow. Or, in this case, the ice.

Now, she is 14 years old. That's really old for a dog, like...however many human years. A lot. If she were human she'd be hidden away politely someplace where the rest of us wouldn't have to see her and be reminded of how we'll be all geezed and dying someday ourselves. She's really fucking old.

And she can't exactly see all that well. Or, in the strictest sense, hear. But she still steps lightly when Beggin' Strips are involved, OK? She's not crippled or even particularly stove up. She goes up the stairs to bed every night. Besides, I'm not asking her to accompany me in the Mommy-Doggie Iron Man. I just want her to crap in the damn yard instead of on the patio or, her actual favorite, the cozy warm carpet of my living room.

Exhibit A

See how she shits on the patio? Oh, she makes it LOOK like she's trying to hit that little strip of grass alongside the concrete, like maybe her poor, poor ancient doggie eyes just made an honest mistake. Bitch, please. I'm still older than you. I've been around the block WITHOUT you on the leash.

Exhibit B: The Defendant

This photo is from November, right after she had an ingrown nail removed. You might be thinking to yourself: "My GOD. That is the most pathetic possible animal in existence." Don't fall for it. That's all I'm saying. Her foot is completely healed now, and she can perfectly well walk two feet into the yard to do her business.

She should be ashamed of herself for getting so old in the first place. Do you know that I get freaked out now every goddamn time I take her for her stupid SHOTS because I'm sure the vet will tell me he's very sorry but she has [insert terminal doggie ailment here] and won't be going back home with me? Every. Damn. Time. And she's fine! Always!


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Heeeeeeeere's Shell!

I am about to lose my everloving mind. Here's the view from my driveway:

You're probably thinking, "Eh, what's a couple inches of snow? It's nice! Pretty, even. Sack up, Shell."

Yeah, but the thing is? It's not snow. It's 100% ice. It started sleeting here Friday morning and didn't stop until Saturday afternoon, and we haven't even gotten anywhere near 32F since then, meaning I've been here like bloody Jack Torrence since FRIDAY.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Article from the Philadelphia Inquirer

January 14, 2007

by Chris Hedges

Extremism: Radical preachers offer a magical world for battered believers.

The engine that drives the radical Christian right in the United States - the most dangerous mass movement in American history - is not religiosity, but despair. It is a movement built on the growing personal and economic despair of tens of millions of Americans, who watched helplessly as their communities were plunged into poverty by the flight of manufacturing jobs, their families and neighborhoods torn apart by neglect and indifference, and who eventually lost hope that America was a place where they had a future.

This despair crosses economic boundaries, of course, enveloping many in the middle class who live trapped in huge, soulless exurbs where, lacking any form of community rituals or centers, they also feel deeply isolated, vulnerable and lonely. Those in despair are the most easily manipulated by demagogues, who promise a fantastic utopia, whether it is a worker's paradise, fraternité-egalité-liberté, or the second coming of Jesus Christ. Those in despair search desperately for a solution, the warm embrace of a community to replace the one they lost, a sense of purpose and meaning in life, the assurance they are protected, loved and worthwhile.

During the last two years of work on the book American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America, I kept encountering this deadly despair. Driving down a highway lined with gas stations, fast-food restaurants, and dollar stores I often got vertigo, forgetting for a moment whether I was in Detroit or Kansas City or Cleveland. There are parts of the United States, including whole sections of former manufacturing centers such as Ohio, that resemble the developing world, with boarded-up storefronts, dilapidated houses, potholed streets and crumbling schools. The end of the world is no longer an abstraction to many Americans.

We as a nation have turned our backs on the working class, with much of the worst assaults, such as NAFTA and welfare reform, pushed through during President Clinton's Democratic administration. We stand passively and watch an equally pernicious assault on the middle class. Anything that can be put on software, from architecture to engineering to finance, will soon be handed to workers overseas, who will be paid a third what their American counterparts receive and who will, like 45 million Americans, have no access to health insurance or benefits. There has been, along with the creation of an American oligarchy, a steady Weimarization of the American working class. And such distortions, as Plutarch reminded us, have grave political consequences for democracies. The top 1 percent of American households have more wealth than the bottom 90 percent combined. This figure alone should terrify all who care about our democracy.

The stories believers told me of their lives before they found Christ were heartbreaking. These chronicles were about terrible pain, severe financial difficulties, struggles with addictions or childhood sexual or physical abuse, profound alienation and often thoughts about suicide. They were chronicles without hope. The real world - the world of facts and dispassionate intellectual inquiry, the world in which news and information were not filtered through the comforting ideological prism of radical religion, the world where they were left out to dry, abandoned by a government hostage to corporations and willing to tolerate obscene corporate profits - betrayed them. They hated this world.

And they willingly walked out on this world for the mythical world offered by radical preachers - a world of magic, a world where God had a divine plan for them and intervened daily to protect them and perform miracles in their lives. The rage many expressed to me toward those who challenge this belief system - to those of us who do not accept that everything in the world came into being during a single week 6,000 years ago because it says so in the Bible - was a rage born of fear, the fear of being plunged back into a reality-based world where these magical props would no longer exist, where they would once again be adrift, abandoned and alone.

The danger of this theology of despair is that it says that nothing in the world is worth saving. It rejoices in cataclysmic destruction. It welcomes the frightening advance of global warming, the spiraling wars and violence in the Middle East, and the poverty and neglect that have blighted American urban and rural landscapes, as encouraging signs that the end of the world is close at hand.

Believers, of course, clinging to this magical belief, which is a bizarre form of spiritual Darwinism, will be "raptured" upward, while the rest of us will be tormented with horrors by a warrior Christ and finally extinguished. This obsession with apocalyptic violence is an obsession with revenge. It is what the world, and we who still believe it is worth saving, deserve.

Those who lead the movement give their followers a moral license to direct this rage and yearning for violence against all those who refuse to submit to the movement, from liberals, to "secular humanists," to "nominal Christians," to intellectuals, to gays and lesbians, to Muslims. These radicals, from James Dobson to Pat Robertson, call for a theocratic state that will, if it comes to pass, bear within it many of the traits of classical fascism.

All radical movements need a crisis or a prolonged period of instability to achieve power. And we are not in a period of crisis now. But another catastrophic terrorist attack on American soil, a series of huge environmental disasters, or an economic meltdown will hand to these radicals the opening they seek. Manipulating our fear and anxiety, promising to make us safe and secure, giving us the assurance that they can vanquish the forces that mean to do us harm, these radicals, many of whom have achieved powerful positions in the executive and legislative branches of government, as well as the military, will ask us only to surrender our rights, to give them the unlimited power they need to battle the forces of darkness.

They will have behind them tens of millions of angry, disenfranchised Americans longing for revenge and yearning for a mythical utopia, Americans who embraced a theology of despair because we offered them nothing else.

Chris Hedges' new book is "American Fascists: The Christian Right and the War on America."

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Petition against religious schools in the UK

This petition of the Prime Minister reads as follows:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Abolish all faith schools and prohibit the teaching of creationism and other religious mythology in all UK schools.

Faith schools remove the rights of children to choose their own religious, philosophical and ethical beliefs. They also sanction ethnic segregation and create tension and divisiveness within society. Schools should be places where children are given a free education, not centres for indoctrination. Creationism and other religious myths should not be taught as fact regardless of the funding status of a school. Abolishing faith schools will provide children with more freedom of choice and help to promote a fully multi-cultural, peaceful society.

Good on them. I've often wondered how people get away with denying children accurate science education. If my kid misses science class for too many days he can be deemed truant and I can be charged with a crime, but if I keep him out altogether because I prefer to teach him fairy tales that's...OK? Because religious nonsense is better protected in our culture than other forms of nonsense? What if I decide that the proper education for my son involves a curriculum that teaches, for example, that spring replaces winter when Persephone returns from the underworld to visit her mother? How is that any crazier than teaching Christian creationism as fact?

Who cares about science education? That's for heathens.

I'm so childish that I'm still snickering over "Nostrils of Satan," but the topic here is, of course, not at all funny. Terrifying, in fact.

HOW OLD IS THE GRAND CANYON? PARK SERVICE WON’T SAY — Orders to Cater to Creationists Makes National Park Agnostic on Geology

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