Is your stupid dryer a piece of crap or isn't it?

This blog topic can't touch the Master of Peru story or the horror of Jeff Probst's nakedness, I realize, but I really need to vent (ha! get it?) about my new clothes dryer.

The dryer itself is just fine. It was delivered well within the specified window of time. It dries things. Holla.

What wasn't so pleasant was the dryer purchasing experience. It's not like I've never been offered a service contract before; I understand that almost any product comes with the opportunity to spend even more money for a service plan that, ironically, you hope never to need. But this guy at Sears pushed the service contract so aggressively that he almost scared me out of buying the dryer.

As is so often the case, at the beginning of our relationship he was all about the positive. The dryer I had chosen? A gem among dryers. Stylish but affordable, reliable, respected, able to eliminate the most stubborn moisture in a 90 minute cycle, etc. Whatever. I just wanted the one that matched the washer I bought last year.

The joy soon faded. Moments after I signified my intent to purchase this fantastic dryer, Mr. Sunshine began showing me all the things that might break before I even got through socks and underwear, much less towels. "See this door? It's built to hold your basket, but these hinges here can get bent and keep the door from shutting properly, and there's nothing you can do to fix them except get them replaced." (Um...) "I can't tell you how many people end up with a burned out dryer motor right after the one-year manufacturer's warranty expires." (Er...) "They used to guarantee these things for five years, but the manufacturers have stopped doing that. There are so many parts of an appliance that can malfunction, and then you find yourself facing repairs that cost as much as a replacement."

On and on. And they want like $120 for this service plan! For a $350 dryer!

So which is it, Sears? Is your dryer a reasonably well-built appliance worth $350 or a piece of shit that won't last the first year? I mean, you really can't have it both ways. Can you? Either Kenmore produces quality products and stands behind them or not, right? It's just such a bizarre position in which to place themselves: They have their sales force telling campfire horror stories to customers about the product they're trying to buy. ("And then she turned slowly and saw . . . ALL OF THE JEANS WERE DAMP! And . . . she . . . had . . . NO SERVICE CONTRACT!" [eeeeeeeeeeek!])

I didn't pay for it. I imagine I'm screwed.