Thoughts while viewing Project Runway tonight

[Begin DVR replay]

Yay! Project Runway!

Yay! Heidi and Tim! Er...Heidi looks somewhat...emaciated. Maybe I'm just used to seeing her pregnant?

AUSTIN SCARLETT!!11!!!one!

Stella = Cher in Mask.

So many cute bangs on the young women these days. I wish I could wear those bangs. Alas, I am old. I would look like Stella.

Time for judging!

Heidi is too thin for reals.

AUSTIN SCARLETT!!eleven!1!!!1!!!

I like the first lawn chair dress. And the cup dress.

The mop crochet shirt = not something I want to imagine my boobs in at this point in my life cycle, but definitely striking.

Pasta skirt is kind of cool looking.

Like the yellow fly swatter decor.

Everyone who used a tablecloth = go home loser

"Girlicious" = DIE NOW. She looks like a stuffed toy your puppy ripped the guts out of. Or a sufferer of some hideous creeping crotch fungus. With shoulder pads.

Winner: dyed vacuum bag skirt. Gorgeous, innovative. She made her own hook and eye closures for the back from a spiral notebook binding. Suck it, tablecloth wussies.

This season on Project Runway: Tim says something looks like "a pterodactyl in a gay Jurassic Park." Oh, Tim. Call me.

[end DVR replay]