A Love Song for American Idol

So tonight American Idol goes to Hollywood, where the only thing more plentiful than the sunshine is the schadenfreude. Ah, my heart swells. The early audition fiascos get all the press for general brutality, but veteran viewers know that these rounds that determine the Top 24 practically involve contestants vomiting their souls onto the stage so the judges can stamp on them. With boots. I love it.

I'm not ALL cruelty, though. Every year I fall for some poor little kid who embodies vulnerability and awkwardness (and is viciously loathed by Simon) and wring my hands as he's disemboweled on the Idol altar. Yes, I was the person who loved John Stevens two years ago and Anthony Federov last year. It's the mother in me; I can't help it.

So far this year I have begun drawing up adoption papers for Garet, the wee cowboy from a town of four people who had never sung in front of anyone or flown on an airplane:



He never flew on an airplane, people. How do you resist that? Why try? Also, at home he only sings to his turkey, and no that's not a euphemism. They showed the turkey. I know he may as well BE the turkey the way Idol is fattening him for the slaughter, but he's so earnest. My heart still has a bit of give if you poke it in the right place.

As a bonus, I found Garet a brother last night during the final episode of early auditions when I exclaimed, "Aw! He's such a little peanut head!" and my husband and son groaned, "Oh, no, here she goes."



Isn't he precious? I don't even remember his name, but he's only 16 and his little baby cheeks were bright red through his whole audition BLESS HIS HEART. He'll be the side dish at the feast, though; Simon hated him too. Ah, well. You can't protect them forever.

Update: Got his name--Kevin Covais. He and Garet both made it to the group song round, which is always a bloodbath.

Another favorite of mine (and of my husband's) made it too:



Taylor Hicks clearly doesn't need my mothering, but damn his voice is cool. Very Joe Cocker. He looks like he's having a mild stroke while he's singing, and his premature greyness puts the judges off, but we love the way he sounds.