Saturday, August 05, 2006

Some brief complaints

1) I haven't had much time for blogging because (sigh) I'm back at work.

2) I HATE when television channels run ads for other shows that take up a good quarter of the screen while you're trying to watch something. I know that they know that, thanks to the glory of DVR, I no longer suffer their insipid moronic commercials, but it has gotten to the point where I don't want to watch their shows either, because it seems like as soon as I get caught up in the action onscreen some insipid moronic ad pops up and obscures the shit I'm trying to see!

This scourge is annoying enough in and of itself, but it's particularly egregious on, for example, Spike TV, which is a reeking cesspool of sophomoric bullshit 90% of the time anyway but does broadcast shows my son enjoys, namely The Three Stooges and Star Trek: The Next Generation. But do you think they could hold back loathsome sexist promos for that vile Man Show until after their early morning, before-school showings of the fucking Stooges? Maybe? Of course not. Bastards.

And before you say it, yes the Stooges themselves can be tarred with the brush of sophomoric bullshit and sexism, but I have loved their slapstick and wordplay for so long and have so completely passed that love to my only child that there's no hope for us there. We all have our weaknesses. There's still no excuse for knowingly befouling a children's show with tits and ass promos. Who is that mealy-mouthed son of a bitch on that show? I'm not going to waste a Google search on his ass, but I feel utter seething hate flooding every cell in my body every time I have the misfortune to glimpse his smarmy smirky ass face. GOD I hate him. Someone needs to slap that load of shit out of his mouth so he can speak properly.

3) Finally, what is with Why does every internet search direct me to an entry that, 9 times out of 10, provides me nothing but a photo of some grinning dork that looks, in all seriousness, like something they'd use on The Onion followed by a poorly written and laughably superficial "answer" to my search query? Who are these people, and how did they amass this power?


At 10:51 PM, Blogger Tense Teacher said...

Oh, thank you, thank you for the comment. What in hell is this? It drives me insane, too.

Can't tell you how many times kids have turned in "articles" as research. And, since it's usually the first hit when they do a search, I hate to burst their bubble. Grrrrr.

At 6:21 PM, Blogger Shell said...

I can't figure out how they acquired this privilege in the first place. And their site is (to me) amateurish and difficult to read. They can bite me.

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Mr. Fabulous said...

You know, I really love your posts. The combination of snarkiness, sarcasm, and intellectuality...brilliant!

At 9:01 PM, Blogger Shell said...

Well, bless your sweet heart, Mr. Fab. That's seriously the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time. Thanks!

At 10:49 PM, Anonymous Bug said... sucks ass. That is all. ;o)


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